As Xavier’s first birthday started creeping up on me, I found myself having what I referred to as pregnancy nostalgia. I began reminiscing about my pregnancy with him and started remembering the scary, yet sweet anticipation wondering what it might be like to be parents. I wrote about it and you can read it here.

As we approach a year since Phoenix was born I find myself nostalgic all over again. I’m remembering the last days of my pregnancy with her.  Remembering how I tried to cherish as many one-on-one moments with Xavier as possible.  He was my first born, my |then| only child, and about to have his world rocked with the addition of a new baby.  I wondered how it would affect him.  I wondered how I’d be able to handle being a mom of two.

I’m remembering now how I would day dream about whether my baby would be a boy or a girl.  I wondered if my water would break this time around (it did!) and what that might feel like. How long would my labour be?  How would the delivery go? So many questions, so much excitement, a lot of unknowns.

My back hurt & my hips hurt, I couldn’t sit comfortably, walk comfortably or sleep comfortably.  But you know what, I miss that bump! I miss the kicks, the movement, the life growing inside of me.  I miss how my belly was a built in shelf and how doors would be held open for me wherever I’d go.  Once again, I miss that scary but sweet anticipation of wondering when baby would arrive and what it might be like to be parents for the second time around.

And so, I’ll take these days before my daughter’s first birthday and think back fondly to that time before she arrived. And I’ll miss it, but I’ll be so glad that it happened.

  buddhiLove & buddhiHugs